Meat butter

Why you start with the most rich & heavy piece of the meal, I'll never know.

I like butter
I like butter a lot
This is Meat Butter. Ok well it is some poor duck's liver. 
But it tastes like meat butter. 
It is so rich that you have to put LOADS of salt and vinegary onions confit on it.
And then you load it on some bread. 
And that is your appetizer.  Or in French "entrée"
It's commonly served at Christmas.  Thankfully we will be in angloland this year because it is December 2nd and I am already all meat buttered out. 

The important stars

You might remember this guy

Car tires used to be white!

His name is Bibendum.  (Possibly the worst name ever.)

He is the mascot of the French tire company Michelin

If you know fine restaurants.  You will know that Michelin is also the name of the holy bible of French fine dining.  A very big thing that grew out of a very small guide for travelers over 100 years ago.

 

Getting a Michelin Star is not such a simple thing. (There are only 3 to get).  Michelin is said to have a very small team of critics who are advised to not even tell their families what they do.  They work for 18 months, repeatedly visiting restaurants throughout France (and now other countries) and rate them based on quality, service, ambience, originality and consistency.  Chefs wait years to get 1 star.  And a 3rd star holds the promise of a 60% increase in business.

You might have just said "Who cares about fancy restaurants and expensive food?"
You should.  At least once. 
Once put your fancy adventure shoes, and have 4 people watch over your meal. 
Start with the amuse bouche (am-uze beu-oosh. "amuse mouth"). 3 small spoons that can only be described as flavor and texture "parties in your mouth".
Then the entrée (ahn-tray), The plat (plah) and Dessert (dehs-zehr) all delicately designed to marry and evolve one to the next.
Then Mignardises (miñ-yar-deez) the unexpected small chocolates and bite size sweets to finish your meal, and coffee, if you drink it.  
You should plan on 2 hours for a lunch. And you should go for lunch since it is less expensive and if you are taking 2 hours for lunch, you are most likely on vacation anyway. 


Dining at a starred restaurant in France is expensive.  But this is your French experience.  And you will not regret it.


A Michelin 1-star lunch. (my apologies for the Iquality of these photos)

Party. in. your. mouth.

Entrée: Veal Tartare with baby greens on a bed of mille feuille with citrus foam, and tomato sorbet.

Plat: Rognons de lapin, polenta, lima beans. 

Dessert: Panna Cotta, champagne granita, fresh berries and gold leaf.

SURPRISE! I don't even know where to start.*

After dessert, dessert?  Raspberry tuiles, Chocolate pops filled with Passion Fruit liquer, Green apple mini pastry

Coffee

*It is common in very nice restaurants that they have many cheeses.  During the cheese section of the meal, they wheel over a large wooden cart of those cheeses and serve you your choice.  
That thing.  The Housemade Candy cart? That is a first.  Suckers, Chocolate Suckers, Marshmallow, Mini Candied Apples, Sugared Macadamia Nuts, Sugared Pistachios, Homemade Sorbets & Ice Cream Cones, Macarons, Caramel Popcorn, Large Gel Dots,  Chocolate Bars in White, Milk or Dark, etc. 
I know because I asked, 
about all of it.
And they will just keep putting everything you ask for on a little mini plate. 

Pastry Tuesday

 

These are Cannelés (Kan-eh-ay).  

Chewy, with a slight burned-rum taste, these cakes are made from custard.  

If you have a nice boyfriend who goes to Bordeaux (Bored-O) for the day, he might just bring them back for you on a nougat shell.  

Happy Tuesday.

Did you say tomato?

Since I know you have been dying to know, this is how my miracle is doing. 

 

In the end, I just dumped all the seeds that I tried to sprout into a planter and I am pretty sure they ALL sprouted.
But I kept them alive!  

Do you have a significant other that does things that make you go hmmm (i.e. idiocy)? Mine tries to cut tomatoes with a non serrated knife.
Why don't you just smash them into the cutting board and then rip them apart with with your fingers. 

In other tomato news, I had one of these the other day

Delightful.  And completely worth 1€50
And I stumbled on this website: seedsavers 
 
I wish my seeds would make fruit.

Perfect

The commentary at lunch today:


"Paris just gives you the finger, regularly.  And you can't plan anything, because Paris just gives you the finger on that, too.
And then at some point you when you've finally given up trying to do or organize anything at all in your life without trying 6 times, some bizarre occurance of random events happens and you have a moment. Like right now - the weather is sunny, the restaurant wasn't full, the food is actually really good and you are off work this week and came over to my house and we decided to go to lunch."


"I have also likened Paris to an abusive boyfriend.  You talk to people who have lived here and they talk like battered wives.  They feel that by leaving they have lost, given up.  They got beat down." 
"How can there only be 5 sunny days in the span of 6 months?"
"How can the assistant not do her work and be so bitchy and still have a job?"
"Why don't the banks want my money?  And why do I have to have a meet and greet to PAY them to hold my money AND make interest?"
"And yet on one day, you happen to be out and around in the city and the sun comes out; its blue skies, people are nice. And you happened to have shaved your legs. And you dared to put on a sundress.  And for some reason everyone meets together for a drink in the evening and you look around and it is the most beautifully stunning city in the world. So perfect, you feel like you are in a dream. 

And you can't even remember those gray, angry, miserable days existed. They didn't happen.
And that is why you stay.

I like my own chemicals

I  received a gift from a friend of a friend that I guided one day while she was in Paris.
It was a 5-pak of Kraft Macaroni & Cheese.

Its so sad
much like the huge bag of Reese's Pieces and packets of ranch dressing I horde, I prefer the chemical tastes of my own country. 

Date à l'amèricaine

It was impromptu date night last night.  So we went to see this guy

Pita's are in the range of fast food/street food.  They are what I used to eat in the wee hours of the morning after dancing for hours. So I have good memories of pita's.

There is lettuce, tomato and onion underneath that pile of meat.  And Samourai sauce - it is like spicy fry sauce. (Shout out to my Utah homies)
In Belgium the pitas are served in a tortilla and the fries are inside.  It is GOOD.  Go big or go home, I say.  If you are going to give yourself clogged arteries and a heart attack, you should have a great big one.

And my 2nd favorite part

I love nickel machines, quarter machines, penny machines.  I think it is my inner gambler. 
But gambling is just silly.  Why would you even play a game that you could lose? So maybe it is more my inner need for instant gratification.

And then date night finished with this

I was craving a little James Bond after discussing the series ad nauseum the weekend before.  I was looking for Casino Royale and assumed it would be in the suggestions section of Skyfall.  But no, by French logic (I'd love to see the algorithm for that) RAMBO is the closest thing to Daniel Craig in a tuxedo. 

Valentine's

So Valentine's Day this year (which is the equivalent of a Hallmark Holiday here) was B in the hospital.  And me being the stellar girlfriend that I am, not coming to visit that day. But we planned for Saturday and he sent 5 roses for our 5 years - who knew he was so thoughtful?  And I was going to try and convince this little restaurant on our street to do take-out with my boyfriend-hurt-his-knee-and-just-got-out-of-the-hospital story. The phrase "doggie bag" is looked at with that snide French disgust - probably because the they don't feed you large portions.  What you are served is meant to be eaten during the meal itself.
But I ended up buying easy food at Picard since it was his first day out of the Clinic. 
Picard has elevated frozen food to an art form.  It was the first place I went when I arrived.  We got out of the taxi and put my bags in the apartment.  B left for work.  I looked around in a daze I just moved to France.  Woah. and then promptly took a nap.
3 hours later I went to the grocery store, but on my way passed a hospital-clean looking store with a snowflake monogram.  It was all full of chest freezer's (not upright).

Though I didn't buy anything that day (Paris-sized apartment with college-sized freezer.  Oh wait, not freezer ICE BOX attached to the top of our fridge).  Our modern day story ends with me not going to a restaurant, but coming home with this: 

(My celebration of this holiday rests firmly at the level of a 4th grader. So, you know, hearts, paper valentines, jelly lips) 
A starter of: foie gras with raspberry gelée or basil cream cheese with red pepper gelée.

 

Then: Gyoza, sticky rice with little sesame seeds and teriyaki chicken.

But it actually looks like it does in the picture. And shockingly tastes better than most restaurants

And we finished up with

Picard is the cadillac of frozen food

Bread Snob

Feeling long-winded this morning, friends, so you've been warned. 

I went to Seattle to visit my sister and her husband "B".  (Funny -everyone is a "B")
Anyway, she called me a food snob.
Which might not be completely unexpected thing to become if you live in Frantasyland.
And she says it like it is a bad thing. 


So here is my bread snobism of the day

Pavé Tradition: Traditional paving stone

This is my bread from yesterday.
You can't imagine the smell.  Well, maybe you can.  Did you have a breadmaker in your house when you were young?  Do you remember that smell?

We have all those bakeries around us.  The smell is awesome.
And, since I don't plan around the bakers, I feel like I win the jackpot if I happen to hit the boulangerie at the right time of day to get bread just out of the oven.   
Tradition is my favorite.  They won't slice it for you if it is warm, soo you have to rip off the end.
Because you can't just leave warm bread alone.

Christmas day lunch

Ok, here it is...our Christmas lunch from this year (After 4 days of celebratory holiday meals with different parts of the family).
Not that I am complaining, but really - don't talk foie gras, oysters or escargot for another year.  Or chocolates, for that matter.

Trois amusettes:  a foie gras crème brulée, oyster in gelée with tobiko,and shrimp with a horseradish mousse

to die for, hands down my favorite part of the meal: duck bisque with foie gras in a phyllo shell

Lobster and ris de veau

Veal with butternut squash purée

cheese I can't remember, comté 18mois, Epoisse, Marc de Bourgogne, apricot, cheese I can't remember

pre-dessert: yuzu smoothie

Orange mousse layer cake with orange sorbet

post-dessert: salted butter caramels, house-made hazelnut marshmallows, chocolates with seeds and candied orange and macarons

How is your breakfast made?

This video is awesome!  I am reblogging it from one of my favorite crafty people, DesignMom.

 Did you ever want to know how French pastries are made? 

Sundays are for...

• French toast made with brioche and eggs with milk, vanilla and little bit of molasses.

• Walks in the Marais (Mar-eyh)

The Marais is one of the only places with open shops on a Sunday

A nice walkable Jewish/Gay/start-up-clothing-designer neighborhood.  Somehow this works.

• And then there are the pitas.  

At least 5 different pita shops that also sell to-go through a walk-by window.  Strange for the country where sit-down dinners are a national sport. 

But these pitas, they are divine. Every bite is different. They seem to hit every flavor and texture on the palette.

Start with a toasty pita bread, spoonful of garlicky hummus, 3 piping hot crunchy-on-the-outside falafels, sweet shredded carrots, fresh shredded cucumber and purple cabbage, then red tomato sauce, grilled eggplant, a white yogurt-tahini sauce and a  dill pickle.  (the only place in all of Western Europe I have found real dill pickles). 

photo from saltandspatula.com

 It is a crying SHAME I didn't take a picture of mine.  I am pretty sure it was 50% bigger than this girl's

• AND Sundays are for warm September sunsets

The truth about McDonald's

I don't LOVE fast food. 
I cook a lot
I like strong flavors
I'm a big fan of being a guest at long dinners
but being the chef at long dinners just sucks

Do you ever just want to eat.  Like put something in your stomach so it stops screaming at you?  So it stops making you HANGRY at everyone.  Yea me too

I don't love McDonald's
but sometimes when I am tired and hungry.
or when I've been in 6 grocery stores + Primeur and in the micro-kitchen with no dishwasher for 3 days straight - surprisingly - I don't want to make something creative.  I don't want to find some new fancy thing to cook and then go on a hunt for the ingredients, come back home, cook, and eat 3 HOURS LATER. 
Sometimes I JUST WANT TO EAT and NOT DO DISHES.  

It smelled like fish.

Entrée + Plat + Dessert
Appetizer + Main + Dessert


3 choices in each category

Entrée I chose to be adventurous and go with the unknown gyozo in a ginger sauce.  APPROVED! I was ready to lick the plate.

Plat?  'Non' to the white fish and pasta, 'Non' to the Langue de Cochon (pig's tongue) - which was actually Longe de Cochon (porc ribs) - ah the beauty of not being a native speaker.

So what did KB choose?  Poulet et tomates avec sardignes.
KB lost.  KB chose the chicken with tomatoes and sardines - which was actually not.  It was undercooked chicken that smelled like fish with some pretty tomatoes.
Sometimes adventurousness is not rewarded.

Dessert:  The server actually warned me off the peach soup with almond ice cream and tapioca, but I took it anyway.  Pretty good.  

I am sorry this is the most boring blog post ever.  I should have at least included some food porn photos.  But my fancy future phone is too future for me.  But it makes awesome phone calls!

Did you know? Hamburgers

Overheard during an apéro on Tuesday night:

          The wedding was lovely.  A good mix of people since the couple is mixed. The groom is American. 


          How was the reception?  What did they serve? 


          The wine was superb! And they served steak haché.  It was so good.  Melt in your mouth.  But, you know that every American took their hamburger back to the kitchen and had it cooked well done!  Shameful! And such a waste.  

What the Americans don't know:  French hamburger meat is literally made from a ground steak.  If you go to a butcher he will take out a beautifully cut steak and grind it in front of you.  It is also generally around 5% fat.

What the French don't know:   American hamburger is "made from the less tender and less popular cuts of beef." American hamburger contains up to 30% fat.   And apparently bacteria! (And possibly pink slime?...so maybe sanitized bacteria?)

But you know the French have no problem with bacteria

And seriously, Americans - you should really try some raw hamburger with raw egg yolk.  

Steak Tartare with egg yolk served in its shell, tarragon, capers, pickles, parsley, chives and shallots

Chips revisited

A new flavor of chips arrived at my BBQ doorstep on Saturday...

Anyone for Salted Caramel potato chips?

Not your regular birthday cake

but it works because secretly I am a quite the tarte...

white chocolate, lemon, raspberry, strawberry

so I get 4.

more exotic foods

I found this beauty in the Supermarket in Fez, Marocco. 
No one could tell me what it was called.   But they did tell me it was like a melon and cucumber. 
It wasn't as good as the cherries.
But it was pretty.

More miscellaneous meat products...

Friday night's apéro (short for aperitive: drinks & appetizers before dinner) - turned into dinner aperatoire - which means we stayed longer and they kept bringing apetizers

which meant the arrival of the heavies ...

(cue villanous music) duh duh duh

... miscellaneous meat products

surrounded by andouille

b's good friend who refuses to eat any cheese because it smells too strong - eats these meat products. 
I can't explain that one.

Sundays are for...

 early morning hikes

Taking your sword to the Boulanger...

... for some grand cakes.

Picking up some fish at the Poissonnière for Sunday lunch.

 ... and no meal is complete without some cheese from the Fromager.

And, if you happen to be a guest, you better stop by the Fleuriste to pick up something for your hosts.