Wednesday, May 16, 2012

The best friend I made...

I say:  I have a fancy wedding to go to this summer.  It says on the invitation that "the mother of the bride will be wearing a hat". 

She says:  Oh you can borrow one of my dresses.  Do you want to come and try them on next week? 

I say: Sure, you probably know much better than I or B does about what a girl should wear to a "chapeau" wedding. 

I think: I doubt my slightly-taller-than-a-woodland-creature-self will fit into your average height, average weight and average chest-size dresses (damn you and your averageness!).  And I fear you have floral prints. 

Next week at her house...

She says:  Let me just get my dresses out of the closet and we'll take a look. 

I think:  How am I going to politely say no without offending her floral-print-pattern-taste.  Maybe I'll just take one with me and then say I found something else.

Unzipping the plastic protector.  

               Gold and velvet hangers Louis Vuitton.  

                                             Dress labels: Kenzo, Christian Dior.  

I think:  Oh right.   I am the jerk thinking that you wear curtain dresses. You work at LVMH.

She says:  What size shoe do you wear?

I think:  Are you my fairy godmother?

I say: 36

She says:  I'm 36.5 but let's take a look, we might be able to find something.   

Cue closet filled with shoe boxes full of delicately made Louis Vuitton shoes.
I think: I love you. 

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