Thursday, December 29, 2011

Overheard during the Stockholm weekend

"You know that girl from my wedding - the blond one." 

Yes the one blond Swedish girl at your wedding...

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

my mother always said I was extra smart

Our floor is freezing because we are on the 2nd floor (1st floor if you live here) - thus, no heat rising from the apartment below us.
Because I am a genius, we bought a heated blanket and put it under the rug in the living room.
Heated floor.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Monday, December 19, 2011

This last weekend

It is cool to forget where you are.  Not like - I forgot I drove to Vegas last night.
More like - I took a 2 hour flight to visit a friend (who speaks perfect english) and we looked at Christmas lights and sang Christmas carols to her new baby so I forgot that there was also this out the window...

Stockholm city hall where the Nobel banquet is held.

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Welcome back crazy girlfriend

So yesterday crazy girlfriend showed up.
Yes sometimes (shocking, I know) this girl shows up when she finds the standards here a bit off.

I was in Stockholm last week and I get a message from B that he is getting his wisdom teeth out. He says the dentist will do it on Monday. "Not an oral surgeon?" crazy girlfriend asks (yes the dentist surely doesn't know his limits). No, not an oral surgeon, just the dentist.

So when I got home I asked if he wanted me to come with him to his appointment and wait. And he says no.
"No!? But what if something happens. I can't believe the dentist didn't ask! Why didn't he tell you to bring someone. Oh yea, because he isn't worried about getting sued if something goes wrong. What happens if you are in a state where you are unable to advocate for yourself? What if he breaks your jaw? (I actually said this)

Crazy Girlfriend strikes again.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Things that creep me out...

Baby perfume
From the most chic brand of baby clothing
Baby perfume with a stuffed animal

Super gross!

Monday, December 12, 2011

La Gare

We went here for brunch on Sunday. 
A big good buffet.  Fancy decor (an old train station)
And too many stylish moms in fake leather stretch pants.
2 p.m. is still too early for that.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Living on supplements

Following my momversation of Tuesday night I pretty much haven't been eating.
"No dairy, no bread or any otherwise processed foods" really puts a damper on things. And cooking is out of the question.
It's hard being an adult. 

So I have been living on supplements.
Mmmm supplements.
Because they taste so much better than chicken soup. 

Thursday, December 8, 2011

My entire apartment smells like ass

I know I dedicate a lot of time to weird things I eat here, but seeing as how we spend 1/3 of our time eating, it is only logical that 1/3 of this blog should be dedicated to food.

Tonight I had the unfortunate experience of letting B cook andouillette at home.  If you haven't heard me complain about andouillette enough - it's ass.

Well, let's be more specific, Andouillette is intestine.
Metres of intestine stuffed into a sausage form.  This is what it looks like before it goes onto the grill.  And let me just add that it should always be cooked

on the grill


where it can mix heavily with fresh air

Where it can explode on the grill.  Because that's what it does.
Exhibit A - the same 5 andouillette cooked.....

I used to think I was adventurous in food - willing to try everything once.  Now I just flat out deny. 
Andouilette is denied. Andouillette's cold cut brother the Andouille is rejected (also for smelling like ass). 

B cooked it in our closet-sized kitchen with the door closed.
You know when you stand too close to something cooking and then your clothes smell like it?  That is us, but it is not "something", it's ass. Even in our bathroom 3 hours later - it smells.

Anyone that wants to smell ass - come to my house!  We'll be here all week.  

Endnote: There are actually 5 grades of andouillette and I've only ever seen the 5A kind.  And I really wonder what could be left to put in the 1A?  Straight shit?

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

phone calls from the edge...

So this is a snippet of me talking with my mom today on the phone....

Mom: How is it over there?  Snowy and cold? 

KB: No it's rainy and wet this year.
(KB hacking cough)
Mom:  Oh you have a cold.  What are you taking? 

KB:  Nothing.  I am just waiting for it to work itself out.

Mom:  You're not eating any cheese or bread, or drinking any wine are you? 

I'm sorry, have you heard of this little place I've lived in for 3 years called BreadCheese&Wineville?  Alias: FRANCE?

KB: no 

Mom:  You are not eating any of that?

KB: No.