Mike and the Yogurt

While I was staying with our friends outside of Paris we went shopping for groceries. My friend's wife Betty (they are from the UK) asks me what we should get for breakfast and I say "yogurt." A perfectly reasonable thing to have for breakfast.

Well apparently yogurt in France includes crack.

Betty says to me "We can't have yogurt in the house because Mike will only eat yogurt until it's all gone."

It is a good thing I only take yogurt with Vitamin D.

And that I am excellent at hiding things.

Summer sun

Germany culinary SKILLZZZ

Edible gold spray

brought to you by Germans

Who showers?

So I just got my hair trimmed back into its lovely, a-lined, adult self and I don't want to wash it. I don't want the shower or my monkey arms going anywhere near my perfectly done hairdo. How long do they say its good to not wash your hair?

What happens when you spend 9 hours a day by yourself

you tell your produce guy (who is shamelessly flirting with you while you are wearing yoga pants and a black t-shirt) that you are probably not going on vacation to Turkey this year because you had a job last year but the contract they offered you was sort of "dodgy" so you didn't take it.

Things your friends should not say in public even if they think no one else understands english

Her: I ran into (insert man name here) yesterday.

Me: Which one is that again?

Her: You know, the guy who left me for his mother.

Province

During the time I was studying for my Master's exams I went outside of Paris.

No, I am not disciplined enough to sit and study by myself for 8 hours a day. I have to have breaks, and people that make me food, and not be alone. Otherwise I will end up at the grocery store buying food for a new meal I plan to test out and that means breakfast takes 3 hours (including cleanup). And by then, of course, we should start lunch if we are going to eat at a decent hour.

So I went to province. Not the lovely place you are thinking of in the South of France with fields of lavendar, fresh herbs and the good life.

Province is not Provence. Province is any place outside of Paris. (So technically Provence is in Province. Confused yet?)

Yes, there is Paris and a word for everything outside of Paris. Because Paris is it's own country with its own cranky language and snappy irritated-about-having-to-move people.

Province is full of fields and round abouts without signs, and enormous grocery stores called LeClercs (pronounced: leuh klair - if that doesn't sound like a line of french beauty products, I don't know what does). It has tiny towns with tiny churches and local castles. And people that wouldn't prefer to spit on you rather than talk to you.

Actually, I like both Province and Provence.

And sometimes Paris.