Thoughts lately

Why do people talk so much?

When did everyone get into biking? 

Was it always so sunny here? 

Why does Listerine feel like it is giving my mouth a chemical peel?

My method for doing things is diving in to see if my whole self likes it (really what can you tell from a tiny toe in the pool?).  I also like to stick to my commitments which means sometimes I stay in long past raisin-skin stage.

I hate returning things. 

I really hate patchouli.

I should probably stop drinking whole milk every day since it is actually designed to fatten up baby cows.  

My body is getting strong.

Owning the beluga belly

I have always dreamed of being one of those girls with a flat stomach.  When bare midriff's came around, I tried to stand up straight and suck in.  Luckily I didn't delve head first into belly button baring blouses because I am not one of those girls. My belly is not flat. 
My dad used to call me Beluga Belly when I was wee tyke.  I had great belly-pushing-out abilities and I was an adorable super white color.
 
As I got older, I got into sports and exercising. And being super short, I naturally tried to stand up straighter, and it might have stretched my round little belly a little bit. But not enough for flat stomach status. So a good long 20-something years of loathing the soft middle.

So then a week ago I went to a yoga retreat.  (I am a middle class white girl - I like yoga, photography, traveling and cooking, ethnic food and organic farmer's markets. I'm WHITE).  So the teacher was telling us to inhale into our bellys.  And I thought,  why don't I.  Not just a little bit, but all of it.  And I did.
And I kicked everyone's big breathing asses.  And it didn't feel like this section of my body that I like to reprimand and occasionally give stern advice to.  It became part of my ability.  I can super deep breathe.
And that is cool.

Pretty sure my mom just told me she thought I was going to be a lesbian

Mom: "you watched all of your sisters go through their relationships and mine as well.  I wasn't sure you were going to end up with a man."

Things I did not expect to hear coming out of anyone's mouth

I love going to the prison.

He can't work out at all after his freak sledding accident in January.

I am a source of light.

Owen is the fun police (Owen is a dog).

because you had to make the paper different standard sizes

I have been sending resumes to work while I am on my extended trip home.  And I just yesterday had someone print it out for me.  The formatting is screwed.  One column on 2 pages.  "I have great Microsoft Office skills" doesn't count anymore. 
Who was the jerk that decided one of these countries would have a slightly different size of standard paper?  I am giving that person the doigt d'honneur.  Thank you for making me look like an ass.  Was it not enough that I changed my eating, my speaking, my sleeping habits?! You must also screw with my professional abilities?

Back in the game

I am back in my home town for an extended visit.  And boy if I didn't just realize that I am crazy lady who talks to herself. 

Getting flogged

I am starting to hate the nice man that comes to my house to teach me French every week.
I actually started tearing up during our lesson today.
Let me say that again: I cried in front of my French teacher today.
30 seconds in, he starts explaining how "lui" could not be referring to a woman because it is the compliment of the direct object.
That's why he couldn't respond.  Because it didn't make any sense. Even though, when used in a different context, it can refer to both a man or a woman (or apparently any other object: plants, dogs, couches, etc.)
I wish that my first reaction had been strong like a boxer and that I wanted to punch him.
But no.
And then he tried to be nice and tell me that I speak very well.  Except clearly that isn't the case because he just got finished telling me that people should have been correcting me.
Right.
I do speak well.  I speak better than all of the foreigners I know here.
but I am giving the French language the big "doigt d'honneur" today.

Did your mother ever correct you?  Mine did.  I hated her when I was 8, but then I was 14 and really great at English I liked her more.
Do you know what it is like to feel 8 again? I do.
But I still hate you today Phillipe.

On a positive note, it smelled like summer yesterday.  It was really warm and someone must have cut some grass in the neighborhood.