I want one of these

Should we start the trip to South Korea here?  It is the obvious choice really.  Usually the first thing you want to see when you get off the plane.
This is the one at our friend's house.   

What is that control panel?!  

1 year later and my friend's husband still refuses to try it.  But WE (the ladies) pushed all the buttons to see what they would do.

And then we translated the entire control panel (yay internet!)

Red = stop; Blue bum & fountain = rinse (see above); Pink person & fountain = lady rinse (wand slightly more forward); Pink double fountain = pleasure. 

The other four are temperature and pressure controls. 

And then we had dinner and were baptized with local drinks.  And then I was forced (and by forced I mean I jumped in bottom first, of my own accord) to try the machine.
And I sang like a canary.
And then I wiped and it was like nothing even belonging in the toilet ever came out of my behind.  AND it warms the seat.
I have been here for 10 days now and I completely fail to see the down side.

In further toilet news, I found out we are in another one of those countries where you are supposed to throw your toilet paper in the garbage.  boo.
Maybe that is why they have these toilets.  In the end you are just drying off your bottom from a mini-shower.