words that offend my ears

Somedays I pass people on the street saying things that I don't think should be allowed. Not swear words, what the french call "big words." But words that are offensive to my ears. I learned french because it was beautiful, because even insults sound passionate.

I did not, however, learn French for words like "meuf", while you might think this is an animal sound, you would be wrong. This is the common word for femme or "woman"

Please, french speakers, stop the hating. Isn't it enough that you eat the bowels of animals and wear sweaters tied over your shoulders? Do you really need to add animal noises like "meuf" to the table?

laying down and taking it

"Honte"

So I had an interesting job interview two weeks ago. The guy loved me. Or so it seemed.

I write my "thank you"

I get a "thank you" back

I do the online personality test (which I might add, seems to have gotten better than in the Meyers-Briggs days) which has a small interview element at the end (what do others say about you? What would others say are your faults?) And I must do this all in french.

Call to make sure everything went smoothly. Everything is "in process"

Email a week later, trying to be clever and funny by offering reccomendations, my old bosses phone numbers and also my grandmother's.

Email response: "We have another person to interview on the 12th of April"

Battleship sunk.

UGH

Texts

Conversation Friday night by text between my boyfriend and I:

Me: Did you do the dishes?! (I came home to a clean kitchen)

Him: C'etait le Saint Esprit (my french translation: It was St Spirit)

Me: Is that some funny french word for "magic"?

Him: No, it means God.

Me: God did my dishes!?

metro

Line 14 is my dream
It is the only thing that functions without fail
It is logical,
effecient, fast, and completely electric ---no driver.
So it runs in
snow, rain, traffic, strikes, line 14 always runs
It gives me faith that not all french people are insane.

chuckle

Single Parisian, 43 year old man,
cute, slim, would like to be seduced
by a sweet, charming woman,
sincere, sensual, cerebral, sometimes
loving to lead during lovemaking.
nnnnnnn@aliceadsl.fr

There is an english speaking magazine/free press. It has vocabulary games, crosswords, but mostly advertisements and personal ads. This ad appeared under 'Friendship'. I apparently have the wrong kind of girlfriends.

Another one of my favorites that ran for several months, also under friendship, was a 40 something man looking for a nice girl, he wanted to write a book with her, about her.
Comedy.

bisous

So tonight we decided to get asian takeout
I make the call and start the order

Me: "Good Evening, we'd like to make an order"
Takeout Guy: "sure"
Me: "chicken and fried noodles, fried nems, and a spring roll"
Takeout Guy: "do you want baguettes?"
Me: (me thinking "baguettes" are bread) "no"
Me: (me realizing that "baguette" is also the french word for chopsticks) "yes, yes we want baguettes"
Takeout Guy: "it's not bread"
Me: "heh yes I just realized"
Takeout Guy: "it will be ready in 15 minutes"
Me: "ok we'll see you in 15"
Takeout Guy: "see you soon"
Me: "kisse...."

Yes. I actually just told our asian takeout guy "kisses" at the end of our phone conversation.

Awesome.

Should I give myself a grade like Barack?

My New Year's resolution as of 2 days ago is to not think negative thoughts. This might seem extreme and bold as a resolution. So, let me clarify. I don't want to make everything positive. I just want maybe the absence of my own dislike/judgement that causes an internal Greco Roman Wrestling. Like when my alarm goes off in the morning and I say " I just want to stay here where it is warm" or "I don't want to get up" followed shortly thereafter by "I can do everything later, what is 5 more minutes". Then my subconscious knows if I get up, I will have lost to whatever task or person made me get up. I don't get to lose. I don't like internal greco roman wrestling.
But to say the least I haven't been very successful at this. I would give myself a C or maybe a D. Which is not very "not negative". Ok so no grades
Just no more negative