McDonald's

I go to McDonald's, a lot. It's like coming home. I know what is on the menu. I know how it tastes. It will only take me 10 minutes or less to get food. And I just have to eat, no shopping, no cutting on a cutting board too large for my 10 inch wide by 20 inch long counterspace, no cleaning up.

AND I order Happy Meals. I am Happy Meal sized, so it works. Plus, you get a toy. A small, shiny, brightly colored, plastic toy. That spits fire.

Sauce

Contrary to popular belief French dressing looks nothing like this

                                     

It is neither red, nor does it come in a bottle. Why this is called french, I am not sure. It could come from some small corner of France where some Kraft employee went 30 years ago. Or it might come from that same Kraft employee sitting around a board room table with the marketing team.

Either way, "La sauce pour la salade" is made just before serving the salad. It is always tossed (like Caesar salad) and has only 3 ingredients:

A small spoonful of mustard, 2 tablespoons of balsalmic vinegar and then 2 tablespoons of olive oil. Mix Mix Mix

I LIKE VARIETY. Like an aisle full of variety.

You know the kind, like any random grocery store.
      
                                       

So I get creative: dried herbs, lemon juice, pepper, cheese, chocolate chips, rainbow sprinkles.

Lovely

luuuuvvvvely

I probably shouldn't say this word. It sounds like I am trying to be all fancy and foreign. BUT, not only does that work in an international crowd (where most people learn British English) but it also feels so nice coming out of your mouth.

Lovelllly

Loooovely

Luuuuuvly

I think its a keeper.

Sorry people who might say I'm a poser. You're just going to have to suck it up.

Lovely.

Thievery

I just spent my monthly entertainment budget on food.

This little tiny specialty american food store the size of a walk in closet, where everything costs 6 - 8 euros a piece.

This may not seem like a lot, but it is nothing short of painful to pay 4 euro for a chocolate cake mix that you know costs 1.50 at Super Target.

Teething for the last 29 years....

I clench my teeth at night.

My dad grinds, my sister grinds. I grind my teeth so hard that I have cracked and broken them (heard: collective cringe). My dentist said last time I was in his office "That's amazing! Can I take some photos and post this on our website" after I broke a diamond centered crown with my night grinding. (yes I broke my tooth twice, the original AND the diamond centered crown that replaced it).

So I wear a night guard. A thick, plastic, protective mold that fits on my top teeth.

If I put on shiny shorts and and a pair of gloves I could be a boxer.

small streets, small cars

What would posess someone to buy a shopping cart on wheels? No really, there are two seats: one for you and one for your groceries.

Well this might.

Parking spaces in Paris go for 40 to 250 Euro per month. You can also buy one for 43,000 Euro. (60,000 dollar parking spot anyone?)

But who needs to BUY a parking spot when you can fit your car in the 2 inch space between parking spots.

Pain au Raisin

This is breakfast. This is the french version of a Cinnamon Roll. At first I was very skeptical (as I am with all foods that contain raisins), but then I got to the custard. Yes the yellow in the swirls is vanilla custard. Yes I do get to eat a a custard filled, rasin covered, buttery pastry for breakfast. And no one will try to tell me it is dessert. Even if it is right next to the chocolate pies and raspberry tartes. No one. Probably because they are eating their own dark chocolate filled, butter pastry breakfast.