Thought of the day

Sometimes I have to wear thong underwear just to remind myself to sit up straight and get my "poop in a pile", if you know what I mean.



Because restrictive clothing on your sensitive parts has a way of doing that, making you sit up straight. 

Through a window....

walking home the other day through the corridors of the Louvre
Something that never gets old.

Chocolate hangover

Did anyone ever leave you free to consume something you LOVE as much as you want?  Like maybe your parents didn't know where you kept an entire bag of candy? Like you might have hidden yourself in a closet or in the basement to eat as much as you wanted?

B's Mom:  Do you want to go to the Salon du Chocolat?  (Chocolate expo?)

KB: What time do I need to be ready?!


6 hours later and 3000 people later

KB:  Let's not do this again.

So there is this Chocolate expo. Complete with 300 exhibitors.  300 chocolate exhibitors.
And b's mom wanted to do each aisle twice.  In order to hit both sides and spend the appropriate amount of time at each stand.
b's mom is slim.  And clearly lives on coffee, coffee and chocolate.  She and her friend did not eat anything but chocolate based items and coffee for 6 hours.  I, at 32, in near sugar shock, broke down and stopped for a sandwich.
Weak sauce.   



Other Salon du Chocolat commentary:


There was a big showing of Japanese chocolatiers (Chocolate makers).  Like every delicacy in the world the Japanese will study it, talk to the authorities, take it back to Japan and produce perfection. (check out Tokyo Chocolate or Sadaharo AOKI)

There were 3 chocolate mousse bars, being served like ice cream. In between every 100 samples of chocolate.

Clothes made of chocolate are never anything but ridiculous.

 There were live peace doves in that skirt.

B's mom told me (when I didn't buy these marshmallow bears covered in chocolate. and then she did) that someone had to be thinking of B.  ....Uh, did I just get reprimanded by my boyfriend's mother? 

The swear word edition

 I don’t really swear in French.  Mostly because I can’t make the stupid “r” noise very well. 

And the “u” noise. 

Well I can make the "u" noise. It just sounds ridiculously stupid.  And gay. 

Well, and it’s only in slightly poor taste to throw around swear words when your level of communication is at about pre-adolescent.  

Well on second thought, maybe it is entirely appropriate.  First naughty words.

 

So the one that does occasionally escape my Parisian mouth is chier. 

SHEEEYAY.    

Say it again: SHEEEYAY

As in “ça me fait chier”.  It makes me SO mad.  Sa meuh fay SHEEYAY!

 “It makes me defecate.”

(Do you like how I avoided the swear?) 

Why this is the swear, I really don't know.  

Except it is reflexive. You do it to yourself.  So it literally, means this:

Is that what happens when you get mad? 

Trashy

We now have an old oven on our balcony. 

French Cooking

It would be such a good story if I learned French cooking and fell in love with France and all it's crankiness and divine flavors.  It is true I have had some some sauces and sugary delights that have rendered me speechless (and practically orgasmic).
But this is not me.  If it is not apparent by now, I have my own brand of crankiness and it only meshes well with France on Tuesdays between 10h and 16h. 

Ok so back to cooking and falling desperately in love with France like he is my latin something 

There are a couple of issues with this. One being:

Why would you ever cook French Food for French people?
Like the time I briefly raised my hand in my Beginners Japanese class to correct my Japanese professor's pronounciation of "Feng Shui". (neurons..need...sugar...run...faster). I have learned my lesson

I will not be cooking French food for French people.


But if you, my dear friends, want to cook French food for French people, or anyone else for that matter, here it is: 

www.marmiton.org

This is the holy bible of recipes.  

And just so I don't leave you hanging, a tool from my own bastard style of cooking: 

http://www.convert-me.com/en/convert/cooking#subs

It converts any quantity to almost every other measurement and you can even change the "substance", which apparently somehow affects the density.  They tell me butter and water don't measure the same.  Well it's all Feng Shui to me.  

PS translations of any words or phrases or entire recipes can be done with the click of a finger on google.

Jardins des Plantes