Wednesday, March 2, 2011

So you want to go to the toilet, do you?


When in Europe and needing to "use the facilities" you ask for the "toilet".

I found this particularly difficult as I don't want anyone imagining that I am actually going to use the toilet.
Because, of course, when I go to the "bathroom" I could just be going to fix my hair and makeup.



Because when I lived in the States I totally did my hair and makeup. Much like this girl.


Ok so at least I didn't have to imagine them imagining me sitting on the TOILET.

(Sidenote: Separate shower rooms and toilet rooms are convenient. BECAUSE- one person in the shower and one person on the toilet.)


SO onto the next part of toiletmania.....

There are public restrooms and private restrooms. I'm not talking public restrooms, like the pods on the street that can be accessed with a couple of coins -we won't even go there (see above). I mean public bathrooms like at Quick, Pomme de Pain or any other establishment, versus the toilet in my apartment or at work.
I realized yesterday that I subconsciously plan my schedule of being out-and-about around toilet stops. Because the public toilets are absolutely d├ęgueulasse, (disgusting). Don't think that I am kidding when I say that there was a dark brown spot on the tile in the toilet room at Starbuck's.


SO, if I am not going to a sit down restaurant, I am wary.
If I am shopping, I try to squeeze my bladder as much as possible before I go out. Because the other thing is - you just don't ask if you are not buying something.
You don't have emergencies and run in to a restaurant thinking they will be kind and understand that you are so full of pee that your eyes a yellow that is how high your emergency has reached, because they don't care. And the people who do care, have toilets as clean as gas station rest stops.
Like, suit up before you go in there.
With a mask.


In contrast, private bathrooms are always clean. Proper toilet etiquette dictates that anyone that uses the toilet for any "serious business" must use the brush to clean it. And every toilet has a brush. When you are in an office of 8 people, you just know. So everyone does their business and cleans up afterwards. I might have thought it was acceptable to leave anything below the water line, but I would be totally wrong.

And that
is about all there is to say about toilets in France.

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